Dare to Be Happy … for no particular reason!

October 7, 2008

One of the biggest problems we face today is that too many people are simply not happy. No matter how hard they work, how much they acquire, how busy they stay, happiness still eludes them. The sad truth is that we look for external things and stimuli to bring us joy - or even to other people.

We expect our partner to make us happy and divorce him when he doesn’t.
We want our children to fulfill our dreams, and are disappointed when they don’t.
We expect money to solve all our problems and make us happy, and we can’t understand why it doesn’t once we have it.

How many times have you heard someone say: I will be happy when…

I will be happy, when I make more money at my business.
I will be happy, when I am married.
I will be happy, when I get a promotion.
I will be happy, when my children are grown and I have more time for myself.

The list of possibilities that make happiness contingent upon an external event is endless. The truth is that joy is simply not an external event. It is not cause and effect. Even if you achieve the thing you seek, the rest of the list is there, distracting you from your birthright: Bliss.

The truth is that joy cannot be achieved from the outside in. Time and time again the things we sought let us down in the end, even when we got them. Those external achievements are, at best, fleeting.

THE SECRET TO BEING HAPPY

It is incredible how many books have been written on the topic of being happy. So where is all the joy? Don’t we read the books? There are people who read such books all the time and are still not happy. With so many unhappy people in the world, being happy must be an extremely difficult thing to achieve.

Haven’t you known or met that person who always has a great smile on their face, a smile in their voice, and a skip in their step? You want that too…don’t you? What’s their secret???

So what is the secret to finding happiness?

Believe it or not, the secret isn’t a secret! And it’s easy to do - no complicated actions, no thousand-dollar programs. It’s even quick - no long-term procedures or degrees necessary. The Secret? Simply decide to be joyous! Yes, happiness is a choice.

It’s an internal process.

True happiness that lasts is an inside job. Nothing from outside can make you happy or unhappy. No matter what your circumstances are, your reaction will determine whether the event is small and manageable, or a source of disappointment. If you awaken every morning and state strongly to yourself, “I am happy today,” you will be. Whenever you encounter stress, just mentally reaffirm, “I am happy today.” The stress may be there, but your reaction will far more manageable.

That person who always wears a smile and has a skip in his step seldom experiences stress the same way you do. That person is in a state of APPRECIATION, and that place is a launching point no matter what else happens that day.

So, make your determination every morning: Intend to be happy. Begin and end your day with counting your blessings. Put affirmations saying, “I am blessed,” all over your home and work place. Say it aloud to yourself and others throughout the day, especially on those days with many stressors. Continue to say it, until you believe it. Just by reminding yourself of the many reasons you have to be grateful every day, your focus will not be on your troubles - and THAT is empowering.

Then, put a smile on your face and confront the outside world. When you are happy, you have the world in your hands!

To bring joy back into your life . . .

KEEP CONNECTED: Perhaps in your rush to get everything done and stay on top of it all, you’ve forgotten to stay connected to your friends and family. Even scientific studies agree that happy people are surrounded by good relationships. So if you’re not joyous enough, call a friend, go for a coffee or arrange some down time with your husband and children! The interaction can give you the energy boost you need and help you set priorities that really bring joy. Those you ATTRACT will also be happy, by the way. The grouches in your life will find your newfound joy annoying and will move on to their next victim - a good thing for you! (Remember, misery loves company, so choose your company wisely!)

REMIND YOURSELF ABOUT THE GOOD: It may sound redundant, but literally taking specific time to think about what IS good in your life can truly increase your happiness. Use your joy like a muscle you need to strengthen. Are you feeling down about something at work or how you’ve been dealing with your kids? Combat those feelings by setting aside time to consciously think about what you’ve done RIGHT. While acknowledging where you can improve is good for you, beating yourself up about mistakes or unfairness will only break your spirit. Exercise your joy muscle and you will be far less distracted by your own ego or the natural ups and downs of life.

GET A HOBBY: Sometimes all we need is a little diversion to bring personal joy back into our lives. Challenging yourself and enriching your life with interests outside of your daily routine and your workload can bring a new zest to your day that may have been missing! And it’s quite possible that you’ll make new friends and connections while you’re at it!

DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE: Remember, finding where you can help others creates great satisfaction and joy. You don’t have to do much - holding the door for someone, bringing your co-worker a coffee, or picking up groceries for an elderly neighbor can fuel your ‘feel good’ chemicals and remind you that happiness comes from our own attitudes and actions.

Finally, If despite your efforts you feel that your lack of enjoyment in life may be linked to more serious conditions such as depression or anxiety disorders, please consult your physician about necessary steps you must take to get back on track. Depression is an illness, and it can be managed if treated properly. But while you’re doing that, remember to practice everything else possible - exercising your joy muscle is vital no matter WHAT is taking the joy out of our lives.

And remember, the women of The Daring are an incredible community to depend upon. Lean into the arms of those warriors and you will be surprised at the support and the objective views and JOY you are able to find there.

TODAY, DARE TO BE HAPPY… FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON!

Francine Allaire, Chief Inspirational Office for The Daring!

Posted by Francine | Filed Under Blog, Dare to Achieve Your Dreams | Leave a Comment

Why don’t we dare to be great?

October 2, 2008

What would happen, right now, if you knew beyond a doubt that you were magnificent? What would you do with that knowledge? And what would you TRY in your life if you knew you could not fail?

What is it that stops us from owning those empowering truths? Is it the responsibility that would come along with being awesome? Because being successful and magnificent does come with responsibilities. The first one is that you must be courageous. You cannot sit on your laurels and be a victim if you are incredible. You must behave in big ways and take big risks. Why not, after all? The next responsibility is that you must be inspiring. There is no place to hide when you are magical and achieving great things.

Simply put, if we are not distracted by worry and self-imposed crisis, the real purpose of lives is right in front of us. It sits there, waiting, daring to be acknowledged day after day. Waiting to live our deepest dreams until the time is “right” is a gamble we cannot afford. No matter what our circumstances, waiting is like being robbed every day. We are our own perpetrators, slamming the cell door shut on our own magnificent lives.

There is an impenetrable truth. TIME IS PASSING. Every moment. It is not stagnant, like a pool. It is, instead, a rushing river. It is alive. It is vibrant. And it does not wait. In our powerlessness over that, we have huge opportunities. We can choose to own our present. We can live our priorities and choose what is worth implementing this very moment.

Perhaps it is just as vital to choose, “What is worth releasing?” We have two hands and one heart, and if they are full of sorrow or regret, or if we feel imprisoned by our circumstance, we simply do not have enough room to Dare to be Great.

Today, wherever you are, stand tall inside and know that no one can stop you from being the one magnificent, powerful woman that you are. No one. Not even you. Deep inside, the life you need to be living is screaming to break free. Just for today decide what you will and will NOT be driven by.

I will not be driven solely by the needs of others. I WILL be driven by my passion.

I will not be driven solely by my responsibilities. I WILL be driven by my dreams.

I will not be driven solely by my circumstance. I WILL, instead, be driven by hope.

I will not be driven by my limitations. I WILL be driven by my gifts.

I am not only what others see. Inside I have a secret. The secret is that I am MAGNIFICENT.

Today, I can choose to be joyous and to share my secret. I can KNOW that there is a community of women who are also DARING at this very moment to be great.

Francine Allaire, Chief Life Strategist for The Daring
www.TheDaring.com

Posted by Francine | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment